Wind Song Journal

Hi Rob, thanks for changing the light bulb when you were over!

Lately I’ve been searching for jobs every day, and have found a few interesting leads.?Today I have an interview with Prime Time Athletic Club. I am really hoping it will go well! I am also applying with the school district, a non-profit girls organization, and the Center for the Independence of the Disabled.

Last night, I met Robin Reasoner and her Upwardly Mobile Leadership Group for Women…at the climbing gym. We had a great time climbing. Robin climbs once a year, but she can still hold her own on a 5.9. She was busy coaching all her friends! I was happy to get up a 5.11d with two falls…very challenging! Afterwards, the lawyer group treated me to sushi with everyone else. It was?absolutely delicious!

Aunt Marion, what a nice note. Yes, we had a great time at the Transplant Games together! I received the photos, thank you! They are very special.

One of my hobbies is reading inspirational books. A common theme is…on your deathbed, how would you like to be remembered? What kind of person are you? Lately, I have been thinking about the value of human relationships and the little things that matter. This journal contains my dreams and goals, but did you know that it is also a record of how you, the readers, have made a difference in my life? A journal of how love really does matter?

I have had the privilege of spending time with many people lately…Mark came over for dinner, and we enjoyed a new steak dish I picked up a Trader Joe’s and then played Scrabble…I am still working on that life goal of 400 pts, but 359 is a good start! I spent the afternoon at Dave’s parents house…(he is still in the hospital)and I had the opportunity to show them my “transplant scrapbook” which tells the story of before the transplant to the Transplant Games. Later, I went to Rhona’s house and we went to the swimming pool and watched her two girls play at the swimming pool. On Saturday I was able to take a walk with Rene, who recently gave birth to a baby named Moses! It was great to be out in the fresh air and get a little exercise. On Sunday, I taught a climbing lesson to my friend Ilan, and he is on the road to doing 5000 push-ups and sit-ups! Then I had a relaxing lunch with my aunt, Lorraine at our favorite hang-out, Douce France coffee shop. I howed her the transplant scrapbook, and she enjoyed seeing photos of so many Florida family members that she has not seen in so long.

Sunday afternoon, I attended the annual “Heart-Lung” Picnic, where Stanford transplant patients and staff ate delicious picnic fare, told success stories, and expressed gratitude to each other for life itself. I saw Ana, Isa, David, Gwen, Lara, Pat, Joyce, and Jen…all transplant patients…as well as beloved Stanford staff such as Dr. Dhillon and social worker, Allison, and the nurse, Marla. All the patients except Ana and me had been in and out of the hospital this year, yet everyone bravely moves through life so incredibly despite the hardships.

On Monday, I met Isa at the PAC club at 8:30 a.m. She went swimming for at least an hour. I could not get myself to get into the pool at that hour, but I really had a great time watching her be so strong and healthy. She must have done about 100 laps. All of a sudden, I understood why mothers enjoy watching their loved ones do sports for hours. Besides pure happiness for her, I feel a sense of relief and hope to see her so strong, because she has had a transplant, too. It was inspiring for me. After a while, I stopped watching and did some working out myself on the treadmill, walking a mile in under 20 minutes (kind of fast for me.)

Yesterday, after spending most of the day job-hunting, I went to Berkeley and climbed with my good friend Cherie at Ironworks! It was great to see her. She has such a fun personality. I forgot my climbing shoes, so she climbed in her sandals to make it “fair.” We both worked our way up a 5.10a with bad shoes! Cherie took me to dinner at a taqueria, and we had huge plates of nachos with beans and vegetables. Then she went back to climbing…

Last night I attended a show by famous speed climber Hans Florine. Hans holds the speed record for climbing El Cap, and has done the Nose route over 100 times! More importantly, he inspired me to get in the best shape possible for the transplant with his outrageous fitness contests. He also included me in his show! He had a picture of me in his presentation, and told people how I climbed with the oxygen cord with 20% lung capacity.

So my point is, all those little things you do, spending time with people, listening, writing, or just being thoughtful, really make a difference in other people’s lives. They are the things that will be remembered long after our lives on earth are over. We only have a short time to live compared to eternity. But now here in this journal, I can remember the good things about this life and the people I love. Thinking about the permanence of memories eases my fear of death…I guess everyone just wants to be loved. All it takes is a little time and patience. I hope Dave, who is in the hospital, can think upon the good things that have happened, despite his pain and suffering.

Greetings from California, the land of 105 degree temperatures or higher…record highs that caught the whole Bay Area by surprise. It was so hot, we could barely move. Hardly anyone had air conditioning, and stores quickly sold out of fans and ac units. I survived by frequenting air-conditioned places: the library, the shopping center, the grocery store and the posh Pacific Athletic Club.

Temperatures are back to a normal 75 degrees this week…what a relief! We can go back to living!

Mom, thanks for stopping by my site. I received your pictures on CD. I really like them!

Alyssa, we will have to go on another climbing trip now that the weather is cooling off.

Felix, it was great seeing you recently and I am glad you are back home safely in Colorado.

Andy, thanks for telling that adorable story of us as little ones. Isn’t family fun…

My next project is finding a substantial job. I have been checking job openings every day, and sending out resumes. I am most interested in working for a non-profit organization, a newspaper or magazine, or a gym, but I may apply for business administrative assistant positions as well. If anyone has any ideas for me, I am open to suggestions. (I have heard that the best way to land a job is through connections.) Please e-mail me if you have any ideas.

I have been working out regularly, trying a little of this and that. On Mondays, I climb with the women from my sheclimbs club. On Tuesdays, I play badminton. On other days, I climb, take walks, or go to the PAC club for lifting weights or swimming. Both Ana and Isa are members there, too. They do three times as much exercise as I can do, but it’s fun all the same.

Climbing in the gym is going pretty well; the other day I was able to work my way up a 5.11d, with three rests on the rope. It’s satisfying to strive to do well at something. I am climbing at a level only one number grade below what I used to climb before I got sick, so I’m kind of pleased. I wasn’t sure how athletic I would be after the transplant.

Yet, aerobically I am still very limited. I have noticed that I can really feel the difference when I swim or even walk fast for exercise. (I took a walk around Shoreline Park with my friend Rene yesterday.) I cannot jog even once around a track yet without stopping. There is so far to go in terms of improving my health. I still cannot live the active, athletic lifestyle that I used to do before my illness. I stay home while my friends take climbing trips, backpack, travel, work overtime, etc. Yet everything is relative…I am better off than Dave.

My friend Dave remains in the ICU, after a second surgery on his small intestine. He wavers in his voice and has trouble breathing. I talk to him every day on the phone and try to remember what it was like to be in the ICU. Each little act of kindness was so important, every little sprig of hope was useful. Last year, when my own breathing became labored and I was in the ICU myself, I pretended I was climbing Mt. Everest. I traveled my journey just one step, one breath at a time, and stayed focused directly on what was necessary. It was not even a time for fear. There were no “what ifs.” It was just a time for focused, patient action.

Dear Stacey, Oh, yes, what a wonderful?time?. .?the magic you make with stir fry. . .Delicious!! You are generous in reporting my badmitton skills. Your technique on the court makes me?think you’could have been named? Hawk Eye. The guardian angel photos inspire!! I’ve shown them to Hindus, Jews, Christians and Independents.?Everyone recognizes The Light. Another wonder caught?on film is you doing the splits high on the climbing wall. And what fun eating popcorn under the blanket of colors Denise sent. ? Love, Mom

On Wednesday, July 5th, my mother came to visit me here in the Bay Area. She arrived at night, and it was the first time she had seen the apartment all set up; she was delighted.

The next day we went to the hospital for me to get my monthly octreotide shot…it was a little painful this time because they went in twice. While we were at the hospital, we stayed for the monthly heart/lung Stanford patient support group.

It was our chance to talk about the Transplant Games. It was a great experience and sharing pictures and triumphs made it all the better. We also saw our friend Lara, who just recently had a transplant and is doing very well. She was two weeks out from the transplant, and speaking slowly and carefully, but she was there!

Thursday night we went to our favorite Japanese restaurant in Mountain View, where I used to live. Mountain View is an interesting city with a diversity of shops in the downtown area. At a tea shop, my mother bought a beautiful automatic tea pot. Later, we attended a lecture at the East-West bookstore by Marc Allen titled, “The Lazy Type Z Guide to Success.” I figured it is a good place to start for me…I just hope the principles work.

Friday night, I climbed with my friends at Planet Granite Belmont. My partner for the night was Kara, and a few other sheclimbers were there as well. Climbing is going well for me these days. I am up to on-sighting 5.10c on top-rope, only one number grade below what? I used to be able to do before the illness. I have been red-pointing a few 5.11a’s, and completing 5.11’s and some 5.12’s with falls.

On Saturday, I played badminton with my new friend Helen. Actually, WE played badminton with Helen…my mother jumped in and started hitting the birdie back and forth, too. With a little practice, she started hitting some good rallies. I was so happy that she could enjoy the game, too.

During her visit, we also saw my friend Angela at Ray’s Tea Time in San Carlos. She welcomed us warmly, and showed us how to do a Chinese tea ceremony. We were very grateful for the delicious tea and the lesson! After our tea ceremony, we took a walk at Waterdog Lake together. It was peaceful and wonderful to spend time with my mother just relaxing rather than worrying about my health. On the way back, my mother took some photos of me that amazingly showed a glowing light on my shoulder. Psychics have confirmed that it is my guardian angel showing up on film.